Well, work today wasn't so bad.  We had to take our vehicles off railroad trailers and then drive them back to the motor pool.  Unfortunately, the day took it's toll out on my legs.  Yep, I'm covered in bruises once again.  There's something wrong with me (other than mental), that I bruise extremely easy.  All a person has to do is just press on me with medium strength and viola, a bruise.  Iron supplements aren't working and I really don't know what to do about it.  I'M AGING BEFORE ME TIME, HELP!!!

I stayed with Elisa at her man's house last night.  He has two fat cats, the gray one is Sam and the tabby is Pepsi.  I'm not particularly found of cats but I don't hate them.  I just have pet peeves about them.  They shed, puke hair balls, and have a "I'm better than you", demeanor.  For all you cat lovers, I'm sorry but that's how I feel.  Anyway, so I was in the living room petting Sam and he rolled over on his back.  I have never seen a cat do that.  I didn't even think they knew how to do that.  I rubbed his tummy and giggled the whole time.  It was cool, but not enough to make me a cat lover.

Elisa really made out this week.  Not only did she not have to work today, but she has CQ Tuesday instead of Saturday which makes the four day work week for her into a two day.  We found out the CQ roster before we left formation yesterday and she had a conniption fit all last night about how her weekend is screwed up and how she wouldn't have any time off.  And on and on and on she complained.  So, I told her she could take my place because I wanted to participate in kit carson week and do the run Tuesday morning, but she had to set it up.  I don't know what's came over me lately, but I love to run now for some odd reason.  I never really hated running but found it a pain in the butt.  Elisa, bickered about calling up Lisa and asking her if we could switch days.  I was growing increasingly frustrated with Elisa at this point and pretty much told her she talks to her NCOIC about it or just forget it, and then she was afraid about being slated with today's detail if she was seen there.  Like I said I told her I wasn't doing it for her.  I admit I called Lisa for her, but that was it.  I have nothing against their NCOIC, but it's not my job to talk to him unless it relates to my field.  Elisa talked to him and Lisa today and now she gets her weekend and out of a run.

I was about ready to kill her yesterday.  She had her boyfriend order pizza for dinner upon our arrival.  I am not a pizza person.  Never was.  I eat about 2 slices and that's it, I hate mozzarella cheese.  On our way to his house we stopped for gas (which I paid for) and I told her I was getting Burger King for my dinner.  She flipped out and I told her "Look, I don't like pizza and I'm not going hungry and I'm getting Burger King, or you can just forget about me trading places with you on CQ."  She hid her eyes from me and I went on my way.  The funniest thing happened then, she walked into the shoppette demanding me to hurry up with my food and stomped out.  Two attractive guys were in front of me and just shook their heads.  I was going to tell them I was babysitting someone's kid, but something told me that wouldn't fly, so I just shrugged my shoulders and felt really embarrassed.  While one of the guys told me "It's a pity that some people just don't grow up."  I busted out laughing. 

Well, that's all for now.  God bless and take care.

Here's a real shocker, I got hypnotised last night, and from what I heard all I can do is just shake my head and try hard not to laugh from embarrassment.  My friends told me I slapped a guy across the face because I thought he was touching me and that I screamed bloody murder when the hypnotist made us belive we were naked(I'm extraordinary modest).  I really don't remember much from the experience, but I will know what a complete idiot I was made to be after I watch the film of the show. 

Going on to other things, today we did the 5m run for the Special Olympics and it was the easiest run I think I ever done in my military career.  Elisa(C.) did very well and of course she let me know about all day long.  She started out as the pace setter but had to slow her own pace down for others, which a run like this is meant for everyone to stay in despite how slow.  However, Elisa was rather pissed upon finishing because of her being deprived the chance of being on the local news.  30 seconds of fame really motivated her.  I wonder if the plt were to tell her that at the end of every pt run session she'd get coverage if she'd run like her heart depended upon.  We might be able to get her to run in the low sixteens. Lol. 

Commander is going through rooms tomorrow, and Lisa(L.) already did her inspection.  So far this has been her third room inspection since we've been home and because of her constant inspections(not that she's trying to give us a hard time, our plt sgt is making her do this so often), I've dubbed her "Inspector D."  God bless her soul, she has an incredible sense of humor, if she didn't I might not be able to type anymore due to push-ups or sit-ups.  Speaking of which, Lisa is a pt stud.  She scores like 298s on her pt test and she loves sit-ups.  Elisa and I did pt with her one day in Iraq and we did 3min sets.  I forget how many reps we did, but I was hurting when we were done.  I slept with a heating pad on my abs for the next three nights.  Then I went through a phase where I was trying to quit smoking and did a 100 push-ups per cigarette and she made sure I did them correctly.  Well you can only do so many push-ups and she changed the routine to lounges.  Oh, God, that was not fun!!!  Lounges are the worst form of physical brutality there is.  Not only do your thighs hurt but so does your butt.  Unfortunatly, neither techniques worked, actually the more exercising I did the more I smoked.  Eventually, I did quit on my own accord in Kuwait, but started up again when I got around my old crowd back home.  I will quit someday, but I guess I'm still not ready yet.

The four day weekend is finally nearing the corner and I was told today I have to work Friday.  Thank-God it's not Elisa, or I'll be hearing about the "unfair" practices of the company until Tuesday and who knows if she still wouldn't be over it then.  Frankly, I don't care, after all we get a comp. day for it and our plt sgt is putting it after kit carson week so it'll be during the regular work week. 

Well, I have nothing more to write.  So, goodnight, God bless, and take care.

I love the army, don't get me wrong, but there are some things in the army that are just plain weird.  Allow me to explain.

Room Inspections

As a single soldier in permanent duty status, you are still subject to room inspections.  Now I understand that the government is providing a roof over my head for my volunteerism, but some of these "inspectors" expectations are placed extremely high.  Some want the floors to gleam and rooms to be dust free.  Is there actually a thing as dust free?  While others just want a neat appearence (fair enough), but in my personal opinion I believe that we the single soldiers should get to see our inpectors homes.  To be sure they're living according to their expections.  Oh, and lets not forget command inspections.  As if he cdr has nothing better to do than to inspect barracks.  Need I remind you that some of these barracks are runned down buildings.  How good could a runned down building look without the proper renovation tools?  On top of all things, do they really think when soldiers get out of the barracks and start living in apartments and houses that they keep up with these same expections once bestowed upon them in barracks living.  I think not.  If they want an inspection, fine and dandy, but just don't expect "Mr. Clean's" seal of approval.

Attention

Cermonies are the army's way of showing the public well disiplined soldiers as well as giving credit to soldiers for jobs well done for deployments, promotions, change of commanders, ect....  Standing at attention isn't too difficult, but standing for long periods of time can make the most rigid soldier fidget.  You cannot talk, move, or even smirk at the position of attention.  So, tell me why higher enlisted NCOs shout out to quit fidgetting at the position of attention?  They know the rules same as us.  It's just funny how everyone has to show their military bearing, but a vast few are excused because of the rank on their collars.  I think that speaking at attention is far worse than fidgetting.  Of course if the cadre in charge of the cermony would keep their speeches short, then there wouldn't be as many problems.

Commander's Bad Day

Everyone knows crap rolls down hill, so if the commander isn't happy then no one's happy.  That's really unprofessional don't you think?

Flexibility

Watch out because the plan of execution you just heard can change in the next 60 seconds.  PPP A.K.A. Piss Poor Planning is a result with numerous problems and everyone plays the blame game.  And yet in the 11 fundamentals of leadership you're suppose to take responsibility for your actions and set the example.

Other than that the army is wonderful and has a lot of great people in it.  However, we are not machines and are suceptible to human error.  Well I'm going to cut this entry short to eat some chinease take-out.  God bless and take care everyone. 

Have you ever noticed that when you break up with someone almost everyone you know showers you with sympathy?  I belong to a fellowship here and before I deployed to Iraq I was engaged and upon my return was single.  Now the fellowship only knew my ex-fiance and me as a couple and never one on one.  I know their only trying to be nice and they want to know what happened to this "good strong relationship" and I do tell them, but still wind up with those "poor pitiful" you stares.  I'm not like most people and I admit I do miss some of the things the relationship once held, but I'm not over dwelling on it and neither should anyone else. 

As you all noticed the title of my site is "Rediscovering My Independence After What's His Name", and for this blog entry I'm going to blog about my now ex-engagement.

THE VERY BEGINING AND ALMOST A ENDING

I was in the company for five months when they redeployed from Saudi Arabia, but it wasn't until two months later I met F.  I was out by the dumpster smoking when F. came up to me and he introduced himself.  He then asked me to go to the premier of "Spiderman", and I told him I would go.  F. had thought I said no and started to walk away and I forgot his name and ended up shouting "Hey, pac clerk, I said yes!!!"  A smile took up his face.   We went to the movie and had a great time and before he dropped me off he asked me if I'd go out with him the following weekend to the mall, and I obliged.  We had even more fun at the mall and I started to develope some feelings of interest but kept them on lock because many soldiers in the company were telling me F. was engaged to some girl in Germany.  I didn't believe them and to prove them wrong on Memorial Day, I asked F. if he had a fiance and he dropped his head and said he'd been meaning to tell me about her.  I felt so hurt and played I told him to leave my site and to never to talk to me again unless it was work related.

IN THE FIELD

The first week of June the whole company went out on a two week field problem.  F. made continous efforts to talk to me and I kept ignoring him.  All his friends followed suit and kept telling me that he was no longer with his fiance and that they had witnessed him break-up with her.  The feelings I had developed hadn't disipated yet and I got up the nerve to finally speak to F.  It was already night fall and the stars were so bright that no flashlight was needed.  It was there in front of our G.P. medium that F. confessed he had fallen in love with me.  I didn't know what to say to that but I told him that he best be single and he admitted time and time again how his heart would break everytime he'd see me and not get a response back and that he was indeed single.  That night under the star filled skies I pledged that I'd give him another chance.  That was 05 June, 2002.  We completed the field problem and from then on were never apart.

MY HEART BECOMES HIS

It took me some time to actually fall head over heels in love with F.  I had been hurt by men so many times before that I was looking forward to F. just saying to me someday that this will never work and he made a huge mistake.  After two and a half months of constant dating and not a disaster in site I let my guard down.  F. kept reassuring me he wasn't going anywhere and that he loved me so much and wanted me to have his kids.  On 18 August, 2002 we went out to dinner to celebrate my second year in the army.  I looked at F. the whole time and thought about how my life had changed since we've been together.  Then I felt the walls crumbling down from around my heart and whispered that I loved him.  He dropped his silverware on the table and looked at me with a food gaped mouth and I told him again that I loved him.  Tears welled up his eyes and he held my hand and told me he'd been waiting to hear those words for a lifetime.

ENGAGED AT LAST

On 16 Febuary,2003, F. proposed.  We had at this point met each other's parents and mine adored him, his disliked me.  That did bother me but I knew this was the guy I wanted to be with and if his parents didn't like it, too bad.  From then until we deployed our love grew stronger and as I mentioned above we were never apart, never.  We made plans to marry when we redployed and live happily ever after. 

TRUE COLORS SHINE THROUGH

We began having problems within the third month of the deployment.  L. acted as a marriage counsler to us and tried to null the tension.  We were constantly tormented by our peers, he wanted me by his side 24/7, and I wanted some time alone and to spend time with other people that I didn't get to know.  I did spend time with F. everyday but it was never enough.  We constantly agrued about his jealously and my lack of loyalty and devotion to him.  He grew to hate L. and he depised C..  He felt that they were turning me against him.  His insecurity grew and grew and soon he  started to walk me to the bathroom,showers, and any formations, pull guard duty with me, make sure I ate all my meals with him, and was with me when I got off work to ensure that I was with him and no one else.  I was going nuts!!!  It made no sense to me how we could be together all the time in the states and now on deployment he wrecked my nerves.

MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY

The control got worse and soon he wanted me to have no contact with my family, get out of the army, drop my friends, and live in Arizona by his parents.  I told him no, to all four commands and this infuriated him.  I tryed hard to ellivate the stress he was under and told him constantly I loved him and would never leave him, but it was never good enough.

THREE WEEKS APART AND THE BREAK-UP

F. took enviromental leave and about a week before he left I had moved into the motorpool since 1AD tore my dwelling down.  I was now C.'s and L.'s roomate and he was not happy with the arragement at all.  When F. was gone I felt like a dog freed from a leash, I could do anything I wanted and not encounter his wrath.  It just felt so good being able to talk to people and to be "normal".  Upon F.'s return I made up the decission that we should part.  On 4 January, 2004, F. and I mutually agreed that a break-up was best for us both.  On 8 May, 2004 F. married his bestfriend's sister and I am really happy for them.  As for me I'm living the single life and enjoying myself with pleasures that were once hidden from me.

You see I need no sympathy and I don't want pitied.  I feel the choice I made was the right one and am willing to live with it.  I'm still alive and I'm still smiling and those two things are the most important to me. 

Congratulations, Jennifer!
Your IQ score is 118

This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Tickle's Classic IQ test. Your IQ score is scientifically accurate; to read more about the science behind our IQ test, click here.

During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We analyzed how you did on each set of those questions, which reveals the way your brain processes information.

We also compared your answers with others who have taken the test. According to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is a Word Warrior.

This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas. And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results.

Jennifer, you're a Scottish Terrier!

No bones about it, you're an adventurous Scottish Terrier. Fearless, feisty, and always up for a challenge, you like having things your way. Some people might even label you stubborn or headstrong.

I called it right last night, my friend C. talked about the golf course run all day today.  She actually ran the whole time, but I personally believe she would've walked had not her NCOIC been there.  I got to hear how she thinks she's getting shin splints, her knee is bothering her (yes L. the same knee she hit with the wrench!!!), she thinks she did really good today because she didn't stop, and she got discouraged when I got ahead of her.  It really wasn't intentional but it's very painful running along side her (my calves scream in agony) I admit I have extremely poor running form but I could always run faster than a 10-11min mile.  The 5m run is in 4 days and she's still talking about how she won't make it.  She breaks her own spirit with her attitude and then blames her body or others who don't "motivate" her properly.  The whole plt tries to motivate her and what else is there to say when she just gives up trying or worse starts to cry about some un seeable pain that has even the medics confused.  She has more profiles than school report cards!!!  I admit I do get agitated with her and at times I do holler at her to pick up the pace only when she gives me that "I'm hurting" monologue.  I've had three strained groin muscles, all my muscles in my back strained, border line stress fractures in both hips, illness ranging from upper respiratory infections to kidney stones and Achilles tendentious, but I still keep trucking.  When I was hurting my plt sgts kicked me out of formation.  C. doesn't get kicked out she falls out.  So this isn't the pot calling the kettle black, I too have fallen out of runs.  I was on recovery or just recovering from an injury or that's how I found out I had an injury or I just got stupid and started out too fast too soon and ended up tiring out before the run was over.  However, she starts out slow(unless it's an apft) and just gets slower.  I do understand body chemistry and how some people aren't runners and I am one of these people.  I work hard at passing my apft and seldom have time to do things I want to do because I'm busy improving my body to meet new goals.  Push-ups are my weakness and have always been, but that doesn't excuse me from not being able to perform to my outmost capabilities.  In her eyes if a person is in muscle failure or just doesn't want to perform that day then they should be excused.  Where would this great army be if we all did that?  Holy crap, there are plenty days that I don't want work but I do.  Of course the army is something I always wanted to do.  I couldn't imagine myself not wearing my uniform anymore.  She more than less resents the army because she signed up as a favor to her now ex-husband. 

C. and I are for the most part using one another.  What I mean by this is I tolerate an awful lot from her.  She makes jokes about me and sometimes has others join in on my torment.  She also bosses me around as if I was her kid.  Everything she wants to do comes first or she'll throw a tantrum and she's always telling me about how good of a friend she is.  I tolerate all this just for a measly 5min ride to work and back home with sometimes added bonuses that I get to choose where I'd like to go and I supply gas. 

Now I don't turn my back on anyone whether I like them or not.  Right now she's in a bind and needs a lending hand to help get by week after week.  I loaned so far over $500.  She was a victim of identity theft.  Now I can hear everyone calling me an idiot, but money isn't really an object to me.  I do love to have money but I hate the greediness about it and the lust for it.  I figure by Dec. she'll have her debt paid off to me and after that who knows what will happen. 

I do call her a friend because we do give and take from one other and we really do care what happens to other.  I really only have two people I can talk to about my problems without being analyzed.  They keep my secrets and are the coolest people I know.  I learn something new every time I talk to them.  T. is my best friend in the whole world.  Only my Heavenly Father and Lord know more about me than she does.  She's been through everything with me and we're both practically adopted into each other's families.  She's my rock as I am hers and we both love one another as close sisters would.  We went from playing barbies together to living on our own two feet.  T. is one of the best things that ever happened to me. 

My other friend L. is very interesting.  She's got a caring heart and always listens to my problems without so much of an interruption.  She keeps my secrets safeguarded and helps me out on army tasks and physical fitness.  She's never too busy to listen to me or to correct my pronunciation.  I didn't really know L. that well until we were deployed together.  I knew her at work and that was about it.  She's an boggle fanatic and after she's done whipping my butt, she lets me get her back in scattergories.  We both feel the same about C. and have numerous talks about C.'S attitude.  I guess it's safe to say I kinda saved L. from C.'s constant complaining when I showed C. I'd listen to everything she's has to say.  Also, L. has a strong faith and that's cool because I love talking about christianatity with others.  Poor C. got confused when L. and I were talking about "Joseph and the multi-colored coat".  L. is one of those unforgettable people, she makes an lasting impression on everyone she meets.  

I have other friends but none compare to the two I mentioned.  As for me I really don't know what kind of friend I am, but I must be doing something right for several people to confide in me and having the two best confidantes I know.  I guess I'll go for now and put some sunburn relief lotion on my face(it's so bad that I don't have to wear blush) and go to sleep.  So until next entry take care and God bless.

Oh, and dad thanks for all your help in getting my laptop back up and running.  I love you and give my love to mom.  Tell J.C. to be careful on the quad and I love him too.  

Now that I'm back to work I guess I'll clue you all in on my day.  I did pt this morning and it was easy until we did sprints.  I have to admit and I don't like to put anyone down but my friend can't really run so hot and she was the pace setter today.  She did really well than how she normally does but I doubt it's going to be enough.  She keeps her goal on the minium times for her apft and I try to tell her not to do it but when it comes to anything remotely physical there's no talking to her.  We have a 5m run on the 25th of this month and already she's in the mind set of falling out, but yet she tells me that she wants run after work(which I doubt will happen because she hates running with me, I don't baby her during pt.)  Mostly because I'm pissed off in the morning about pt my own self and I figure if I have to be there and put out effort and sometimes even extra effort to make it through an hour, I'll be damn if I'm going to have nice words to say when a run or pt session goes longer because of laziness or just that "I don't care attitude."  The way I see it if a person feels like the army isn't doing anything for them then that person needs to get the hell out, because I'm sick of hearing about it day in and day out how the army is this, that, and the other thing.  Enough with that myself with a couple other people can talk about my friend's negative attitude all freaking day long and not even repeat a moment.  I do like my friend but just not when she acts like she's a fragile package that's going to shatter in a trillion pieces when there's work to be done.  To put it a better way as a worker I dislike her but off duty she's really cool and a worthy friend. 

Inventories have now started and my co-worker and I are up to ears in paperwork and our commander is truely having a field day seeing all the equipment he's assigned for.  Speaking of the commander he made our friendly soccer game yesterday look like a bunch of pre-schoolers chasing down a varsity high school soccer player.  It was hilarious!!!

After all the inventoring I was released and bought my lunch for Sgt's time tomorrow(Claymore mines yippiee!!!), and  then allowed a half pint of rainbow sherbert melt on my countertop.  I just wanted to soften it up and instead round up with sherbert soup.  Well I have to straighten up this room a bit the commander is inspecting tomorrow and I need to start hydrating for the golf course run tomorrow morning.  Which I'm sure my friend is going to talk about all day long about what ailed her and why she couldn't keep up or why she just couldn't make it all the way to end. 

Here ends yet another chapter of my boring life.  God bless and take care.

I made it back to CSC and I'm alive.  So far I cleaned up my tornado rampaged room and shined my boots.  Yay.  Another day has gone in my boring life.  God bless and have a great day.

Well, today's the last day I'm home, and then it's back to formations, room inspections, shined boots, and pressed uniforms.  I've had the time of my life here with my family and friends and although it's a little hard to leave, I miss my army buddies and Colorado Springs too.  Next time I write it'll be in my barracks room and to find out what my parents are doing you'll have to read my dad's xanga site.  God bless and take care.

                                                                    The Glasses Are In

    Dad Before

 Dad After

    Mom Before

 Mom After

                                 Cool with new shades

                               Like mother like daughter

                                 The Last Goodbye

This is really HOOAH!!!

A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there was no God.

Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform.  I'll give you 15 minutes!"

The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall. Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God.

I'm still waiting."

His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine just released from active duty and newly registered in the class - walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him tumbling from his lofty platform.

The professor was out cold!

At first, the students were shocked and babbled in confusion.

The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silent.

The class fell silent...waiting.

Eventually, the professor came to, shaken. He looked at the young Marine in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak, he asked: "What's the matter with you?  Why did you do that?"

"God was busy. He sent me."

One Nation Under God