Hello everyone once again.  I went downtown Heidleburg over the weekend and wow the differences in culture really showed.  In Germany you will get pushed, cut in front of, and runned over.  The natives here are not doing this to be rude but they have places to go and waste no time getting there.  There were many people on the streets for the festival going on (not Oktoberfest).  I loved the music and smell of food.  Everywhere we turned was a different form of music being played.  I heard American golden oldies, African drums, Caribbean drums, Native American wood instruments, and German alternative.  It was awesome.  Yes, there was beer, but I had a cup of hot red spiced wine called Guhnwein.  It tasted good to me, but what do I know? 

My unit is really cool and ironically enough I'll be doing the same jobs I did in Carson.  I am the armorer, supply clerk, and mail clerk.  The commander asked me if I wanted to be NBC also and I asked him if I could see if I could handle what was already on my plate and he just smiled and nodded.  Whew!!!

I'm having a blast and have already met a cool person.  Her name is Tamera and she and I are so much alike that the only difference between us is my lacking eyesite.  It's like hanging out with myself.  She has a good heart and I already know that she isn't out to use me or hurt me. 

So here's to friendship, a new unit, and of course crazy fun!!!

God bless and take care everyone,

Jen

Ohhhhhhh, oh, oh, oh, for the longest time.  Yes it has been a while since my last entry, but I'm in my new unit in Germany and so far having a blast, minus the inproccessing.  Any of you wanting my address that know my last name as well as my first send me an e-mail or blog my dad.  Everyone else, sorry but I'll blog more once my internet is up.

God bless and take care,

Jen

Took these quizzes off Lisa's site.  Kinda cool, huh?

You are a XPIG--Expressive Practical Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Catch.

You are a magazine-cover, matinee idol dreamboat. Parents love you and want to set you up with their kids. However, first dates are tough because it takes time for your qualities to come out.

You are generous and kind. You think first and act later. You are cool in a conflict, but your practical side means if your partner throws out emotional appeals ("why can't we do what I want for a change?") they will grate on your nerves, even when the conflict is resolved.

You're a romantic. You enjoy the thrill of the hunt, and you don't just fall into bed with anyone. You pay close attention to your significant other's needs, and this makes you an excellent lover and partner. The problem is that your friends and lovers may find it so easy to express things to *you* that they lose sight of whether you feel as comfortable with *them*! This doesn't necessarily make you feel under-appreciated -- you're too well-adjusted and self-aware for that -- but you may feel restless. Thus you seek adventure in your life outside the relationship to prove and actualize yourself.

Of all the types, you would make the best parent.

You are coiffed.

Didja see "Big Fish"? 'Cause you're like Ewan MacGregor in "Big Fish."

Of the 86652 people who have taken this quiz, 8.9 % are this type.

Look at this one!!!  They got me down to the tee!!!

You are a WEDF--Wacky Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you a Menace to Society.

Well, whether you're actually a menace depends on how you choose to channel your energies. You chew your fingers and have an addictive personality. Properly guided, you can be enormously productive--otherwise you run amok, stir up trouble, and generally have a hell of a good time.

To your friends, you are a source of relentless entertainment. You often get into trouble, but you almost always find a way out. You are strangely popular and feed off others' energy. You live hard, seize the day, and although your more sober friends would like to see you settled down, you generally have fewer regrets and better memories than they do. Your tenet is that, at the end of the day, one regrets only what one didn't try. You are right.

You could benefit from outside help in balancing your highs and lows. Or perhaps cutting back on the caffeine.

Of the 25428 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 4.9 % are this type.

And today...

I got my driver's license!!!  Yay! Whoo hoo! Cherio good person!!!  Got my pcs award and it was an arcom, my second one.  In 2001 it would've been unheard of for an E-4 to recieve an arcom upon pcs, but the times have changed. 

Frank visited me today and he read me his journal entry he wrote on 14 April 2004.  It was about how he felt over our break-up and how he wondered where we would be in our relationship had things worked out.  Odd, but I listened and we shared some long forgotten happy memories and then those memories that we want forgotten.  He told me he was going miss me and hoped I found my happiness and I got what I wanted out of life.  Sweet.  We both still love one another it's adamant, but things happen for a reason.  I believe I finally gotten over my regrets with him and am happy that he found the closure he was seeking.  It's just best to put it in the famous words of Charles Dickins "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." 

In other news, for those of you whom are Pennslyvanians like myself, OUR STATE IS GOING DOWN LIKE THE LOST CITY OF ALANTIS!!!  Well, okay, that's exaggerating, but PA is getting heavy rainfall and Pittsburg is flooded.  They closed down the parkway, which is the only way to gain access to the airport, and in my hometown, they are evacuating small side towns.  First the drought and now this, oh boy.

Tracey, my best friend of 17yrs is dating again.  She says this new bo, treats her well and is very mature.  He's 40, she's 21.  Will it work?  I hope so, she deserves to be loved and have the family she's been dreaming of all her life.  She already told him that he's got her parents' approval and her family's approval, but he still needs mine.  He can't wait to meet me, and I do give the third degree of all her men, just like she does to mine.  After all, what are best friends for?

Amanda, my little cousin had her heart broken.  She's an extremely intelligent 13yr old, but is still very naive.  Her art teacher got arrested recently for picking up underaged girls on the internet.  She doesn't quite grasp how someone she knows and admires could do this.  She had the stereotype that only smelling ugly strangers did these crude things.  I know she'll be all right, but what a rude awakening into the real world.

Well that's all I have for now, as always God bless you all and take care,

Jen

Well let's see here, my stuff is on a one way ticket to Germany and I almost cleared CIF today.  I have to clean two things and I'm in the clear.  YAY!!!  Other than that not too much has been going on.  Just been thinking of leaving here.  Definitely I'll miss all the friendships I forged here but I'm looking forward to the new people I'm going to come into contact with.  Other than that I'm happy to be leaving this post and the mps, lol.  Nah they're not that bad they just need some attitude adjustments.  My favorite passtime here was to see how long the mps could last in hq plt before they cried to go back to their line plts.  Hq is a great plt but a lot of work and under constant scrunity by the chain of command.  Very under appreciative but God help us if we make a mistake.  Like ants under an magnifying glass waiting for some sick kid to fry us with the sun's rays.

My driving is going better and this week I take my test.  Wish me luck.

And as always God bless and take care,

Jen

Here's a bit of a challenge.  If you were in an accident and lost one of your five senses which sense could you part with the most and which sense couldn't you part with at all?  Explain why for each.

I believe the sense I could live the most without is my sense of taste.  Without taste I can still enjoy my other four senses and adapt to a life of a tasteless existence.  Besides I have already tasted many foods and know what they taste like and can rely on my memory for most things.

The sense of touch is the sense I can never live without or I would surely die.  To even imagine not being able to feel the warmth of a tender hug, my cousin's little fist surrounding my finger, the security of having my head nestled on my love's chest and listening to his heartbeat and feeling his chest rise with every breath, the coolness of the ground on a hot summer's night, the wetness of a snowball, and the long awaited rain after a drought.  Imagine not being able to feel the comfort of a friend's hand, the warm whisper of a secret, warm tears streaming down your face in joy of a new child's birth, the refreshness in a hot shower after not being able to take one, and love's tender kiss.  Living without touch would be like a death sentence to me.  I'm a touchy person, no pun intended.

God bless and take care,

Jen

Wow, it's been such a long time since I've blogged!!!  I've finally recieved my new orders but unfortunatley I will not be granted leave before my arrival to Germany.  Hopefully I'll get Christmas leave to see my beautiful family in wonderful PA, but right now I need to remain focused on my current job and get this company through the worst change of command inventories ever in my two and three/fourths years here.  Our present commander inventoried everything prior to the new commanders inventories and there were only minute things missing.  Now it seems that property just vanished in thin air or just simply got up one day and walked away.  And guess who's stuck with the paperwork?  Yeah!!!  Just when you think you're out they drag you back in.  I really don't mind, I love my job. 

In other news I bought my favorite television series and spent my weekend a hermit.  "Xena: Warrior Princess" just happens to be my favorite show of all time.  I love Greek mythlogy and have since I could remember but the show has witty humor in it and I got suckered in real good.  It's the only show I kept up with prior to my entering the army and the series ending after I was able to have cable access.  So, I thank the television series box set people who put these seasons together and giving me my favorite show back in its enterity.  Also I'm an avid fan of  "Simpsons" and "Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman"  No, female can tell me that Joe Lando isn't hot.  My oh my.

Anyway, I'm real siked about this fresh start thing and a new supply room to grant my presence with.  Like I said I really love my job.  It's just comforting to know that soldiers whom work in the sections can reassure the commander that life is sweet and just.  We keep our companies together and without us the army wouldn't stand.  As for the DOD civilian sector I appreciate the hard work but don't treat me like you own me because in actuallity without us soldiers, your jobs would cease to exist.  Long story here and not enough time to tell it.

Well, that's about all that has gone on thus far in my life.  Stay posted for maybe one day something spontanus and surprising may happen, but until then as always God bless you all and take care.

Hmm....  I'm not too sure what the heck the army's doing with my DA 4187.  The civilian lady told the battalion pac clerks that I should have new orders for Germany the week of the 16th.  Well, we can plainly see that didn't work out so well.  Let me give you all an insight to what's going on.  The last week of July I recieved orders to report to Germany by today, and I had to get a deferrment to have enough time to clear and take pcs leave.  I did a 4187 and was told I am allotted 60 days from my report date to have this much needed time.  Problem?  It has been almost three weeks and no new orders are cut.  Am I trouble?  Nah, the army knows I'm not AWOL and I speak frequently with my sponser.  Is this a huge mess?  Duh!!!  What do I do?  Same as I've been doing, sitting around and waiting. 

I sure do love the army but not when it comes to paperwork.  What I'm wondering now is if my orders will be deleted and I'll be forced to remain on (gasp!) Fort Carson?  That right now is a fate worst than death.  Not being the usual whining complaining soldier, but this post is seriously messed up and I signed my contract with the assumption that I won't remain on the same post for more than three years.  I sure do hope everything works out.

In brighter news, Lisa has gone to PLDC to become the best nco she can be.  She's already tops in my books, but seriously all ncos have to go through it and it's her turn.  She'll do well no doubt.

Elisa and I made up and are thinking about going to California for Labor Day and just lay on the beach all day long.  I've never been to Cali but am really anxious in going.

Other than that the world is still turning, but who knows for how much longer?  To those of you affected by Hurricane Charlie, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

God bless and take care,

Jen

SUBMISSIVE

Everyone wears a blindfold

hands and feet are braced

We're given food and water

but no one likes the taste

Our fears are exposed

and no one hears our screams

What happened to the world?

We used to care

and now are we numb?

Our neighbors are our enemies

and we dictate our children

The love is now gone

but it didn't leave

We have been submissive

to the real estater of Hell

We have allowed him acess

into our realm

What can we do?

Have we lost?

Turn to God

He will set us free

Turn to His Son

and be healed and sin free

Feel His love lift us up

and break our binds

He'll hold us in his arms

His loving children

and take our fears away

He'll cast Satan down

to the bowels of the earth

and Jesus will reign

We will be happy again

and love will return.

"For God so loved the world he gave up His only begotten Son so we would not parish but have ever lasting life."  John 3:16

I have always had a love for writing stories and poetry.  Everything I write is original and comes from the deepest portion of my heart.  I write when I'm hurt, lost, longing, and searching for life's unaswered questions.  My favorite poets are among the greatest of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries.  I adore Edgar Allan Poe, Robert Frost, Emily Dickson, and William Blake.  My favorite authors range from literary's heavy hitters John Knowels, Ray Bradbury, Nelle Harper Lee, and Kurt Vonnegut Jr., to modern writers Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Ramsey Cambell, and Keith Ferrario(his was the first horror novel I read "Deadly Friend" about an abused boy's ghost(Georgie) advenging his mortal downs syndrome friend's (Bobby's) violent accidental death). 

I have two notebooks full of poetry and several tablets full of short stories ideas and outlines.  Writing is my escape from the sometimes chaotic world around me and I can be the boss in my settings, character development, and plots.  Writing enables me to see a different world and I absolutely love it.

In My Mind

I have a dilemma you see

I pretend I have friendships

that aren't there

Physically

I allow my gentle nature

to run rampant

with every human interaction and then suffer

Consequences

My mind compensates for my transgressions

thus, I'm swept into a world of illusion

A world where I'm needed and well liked

never to be used or abused

Maybe I am insane

I play games with myself

and make up competitors

so I won't be alone

Lonliness is a grappling hook

It sticks in you and tugs at the heart

and rips it piece by piece relentlessly

Shredding it for the world to see

In my dreams I am as popular as they come

with smiling faces and laughter all around

One day I may just stay

to forever live in my internal happiness

Let the past die little one

there is no more to fear

Let the past die little one

and rage no more

Strangle it with all of your rage

beat it senselessly until it succumbs

Hate it for the feelings it gave

resent it for all the false hopes

Let the past die little one

and finally be set free

Break the binding chains

and roam endlessly

Let the past die little one

it can't hurt no more

Let the past die little one

do not resuscitate it

Let the past die little one

do not hold it's hand

Do not look it's eyes

for it returns a hateful glance

Let the past die little one

it will not haunt

Let the past die little one

and embrace the present

Let the past die little one

bury it in an unmarked grave

Let the past die little one

leave it with it's hate

Let the past die little one

go toward the light

Let the past die little one

ending it's fight to survive

Do not be it's victim

do not be afraid

Let the past die little one

and live for tomorrow

Let the past die little one

with all of it's sorrows

Live for the moment of true independence

live the life you want to lead

Let the past die little one

and live with the living

It's that time of the week again.  My "Family Member of the Week".  This week I decided to write about my mom.  She's simply wonderful.  This woman has been working since the tender age of sixteen and still doesn't stop.  I believe I got my hard work ethic from her.  She worked a half day on her own wedding day!  She's loving, caring, and supportive in what ever my brother and I do with our lives.  She never snooped in our rooms to find anything and while we were growing up the only thing she wanted to know was who we were hanging out with.  My mom is so cool that neither Jason or I were ashamed to bring our friends home.  Matter of fact a couple of our friends wished their mothers were like ours.  She's a funny lady that come up with funniest things to say.  Her most used expression is "Leave me alone, don't you know I've had a hard life?"  My mom and I have the ability to talk like girlfriends and mother/daughter.  She loves to go shopping and it's so much purchasing, but looking that she wants to do.  She guards her family like a mother bear and if anything goes wrong with any of us she's ready for a fight, be it with a doctor, neighbor, or a teacher.  My mom is the wrong person to piss off and if someone does piss her off they better take off running.  Not saying she'd kill anyone, but nothing comes between her or her family.  She's a priceless woman with a huge heart and enormous shoe addiction.  She also has skills in interior decorating.  For every holiday she decorated the trailer now her and my father live in an apartment and she decorated every room with a theme.  The kitchen is a roosters, the living room a safari, and the bathroom is fish.  She continues decorating for the holidays and does an excellent job.  She will not reveal her secrets to anyone.  She also has a kiddy side to her as well.  She loves singing/talking decorations.  She calls them her "friends", and one year she had Jason and my dad as well as herself turn on every decoration at the same time.  She's very fun loving. 

My fondest memories of my mother take place in our living room watching the NBC Sunday Movie of the Week.  We're suckers for true story movies.  When I was about seven years old I begged my mom to watch the movie "Switched at Birth" with her, promising her I would get up for school with no hassle.  She reluctantly agreed thus begining the mother/daughter traditon.  This tradition lasted throughout my schooling and still takes place when I come in off leave.  We laugh together and cry together at these movies and we always have a movie discussion afterwards.  Also we're huge horror movie fans!  As you can plainly see my mother and I are a lot like and not just in looks.  Often times people joke about us being the same person.

I love my mother very much and many soldiers can comment on me saying "I love you mom.", in my sleep.  My mom a fantastic person, it's no wonder my father chose her to be his wife.  My mom is very opinionated and she will tell anyone she doesn't like them.  She could care how people feels about.  She's her own person and will not conform to aplease anyone.  She's love her neighbor as she does herself.  If someone's in need she'll help them no matter the cost.  I love my mom and wouldn't trade her in for all the money in world.  My mother is my family member of the week and for a lifetime.  I love you mom, and am always super duper wooper duper super duper good! 

                                            Proud mom pregnant with me  

                  Mom pregnant with Jason, me, and grandma

                         Jason and mom

          Mom and me, she decorated the whole apartment